Friday, March 9

Trash to Treasure Ideas and My New Pinterest Addiction

A trampoline ring...




Source: greayer.com via Sara on Pinterest


An idea for fencing...





Pallets turned into art...



Tires turned planters...

Tin cans turned into garden lights...

And finally ... bike wheel trellis.I'm going to have a very busy summer!

Friday, January 6

Ready for Spring!

 
I just got my sunflower seeds in the mail and here's the ones I'm planting this season!


Pro Cut Orange


Ht. 60-72" GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Autumn Beauty

Ht. 60"GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Ring of fire


Ht. 40-50".GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Big Smile

GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Indoors - Direct seed into container placing 1 seed per 6" pot or 3 seeds per gallon container. If transplanting to beds, wait for 3-4 true leaf pairs to appear. Outdoors (recommended) - Sow after last frost in groups of 3-4 seeds 1/2" deep. Thin to one plant when true leaves appear.GROWING ON: 50-60ºF (10-16ºC) night, 70-80ºF (21-27ºC) day. Dwarf varieties stretch at warmer temps.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil. Height: 10-17" in 4-6" pots. 12-42" in beds. See individual varieties for specifics.SPACING: 8-12".USE: Containers, mass plantings in beds.

Moulin Rouge

averaging 30". HtGERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Sunflower Holiday
Ht. 60-84".GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Giant Sungold
Ht. 60-72”GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

Velvet Queen
Ht. 60”GERMINATION: 7-14 days at 70-75ºF (21-24ºC).CULTURE: Outdoors (recommended) - After last frost, in groups of 3-4. Thin. Indoors - Sow in final container 3-4 weeks prior to planting out. Dislikes root disturbance.GROWING ON: Hold indoors no longer than 4 weeks. Provide full sun, high fertility, good air movement.LIGHT/SOIL: Full sun; light, well-drained soil.SPACING: 9-24".USE: Cut or dried, back of beds, screen.HARVEST: Fresh - flowers just beginning to open. Dried - flowers completely open. Hang or use silica gel. DAY-LENGTH NEUTRAL - Day length does not directly influence flowering.

I ordered all of my sunflower seeds from www.johnyseeds.com and got free shipping using this code: 12-1005. All of the information above came from Johnny's Seeds..

Tuesday, October 18

Sittin' in the grass...



Had to escape studying for awhile and go sit in the grass with my camera. This is what I found.






Wednesday, February 16

Saturday, November 13

Sunday, November 7

Dr. Bill Bass is coming to town!!

The Bone Thief: A Body Farm NovelCarved in Bone (Body Farm, Bk. 1)Bones of Betrayal: A Body Farm NovelThe Devil's Bones: A Body Farm Novel

Here's the info from the Kingsport Public Library Website:

Feature_Image
Dr. Bill Bass Program
November 2, 2010
WHEN:
December 2
WHERE:
Dobyns-Bennett High School Little Theatre
TIME:
6:00 p.m. - doors open for book signings/photo ops (books available for purchase)
7:00 p.m. Dr. Bass speaks
COST:
Admission $10 adults
$5 students
Dr. Bass, a world-renowned forensic anthropologist, founded the University of Tennessee's Anthropology Research Facility - the Body Farm. He is also half of the writing duo Jefferson Bass.
Sponsored by the Friends of the Kingsport Public Library and Eastman Chemical Co. Profits from the event will be donated to the Kingsport Public Library Building Fund.
Advanced tickets go on sale at the Kingsport Public Library on Tuesday, November 2. Cash or check ONLY. No group discounts.

A Taboo Subject... I love pushing the envelope on tough topics.


I finally finished my Developmental Psych paper, and what did I write about? Something that I doubt anyone else is. Something warped from my own childhood. I tried really hard to use a different topic, but kept coming back to this one. It's definitely not coffee table reading material. But just maybe, just maybe writing about it in my own little way will help someone else somewhere a long way down the food chain of life. I don't know. I actually felt more clinical writing about it this time. Maybe I'm cured! :-) Or maybe my life is just way to happy to let anything pull me down. I was really wanting badly to write about how ex-wives talking badly about fathers warps children, but I guess I need more material. HA!


Anyway, here is my paper in it's roughest form. 


Sibling Sexual Abuse: Not Child’s Play
“Child sexual abuse is any interaction between a child and an adult (or another child) in which the child is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or an observer” (APA, 2010).


Sexual abuse between siblings remains one of the last taboos to be addressed by society, yet it is very real and its effects mirror those of any other child abuse victim. Sibling abuse is defined as sexual behavior between siblings that is not age appropriate, not transitory, and not motivated by developmentally, mutually appropriate curiosity (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998). This form of sexual abuse is not about curiosity, but instead about abuse of power and usually occurs where there is a developmental age difference of more than three years and where there is any use of force, tricks or coercion by one of the siblings. Trust is essential in families, but a sibling who has been given a lot of responsibility and power may abuse that trust. Sibling sexual abuse often takes place when parents fail to pay attention to trust that they have placed in one of their children (SASIAN, 1994).

The misuse of power that is portrayed in sibling sexual abuse tends to show up in other ways as well. These siblings may put down, tease, or belittle their younger siblings in the form of emotional abuse. There may also be physical abuse that would include hitting, pinching and smothering of younger siblings, which the older sibling will discount to their parents as rough housing or child’s play. This type of abuse is not child’s play, but about power and control. Our society explains away brother-sister incest with “boys will be boys,” “you were just kids,” or “kids experiment.” However, there is a recurring theme in sibling sexual abuse that includes power, control, threats, secrecy, coercion, attention, and sexual acts that are not normal behavior for typical siblings (Shaw, 2000).

For the most part, survivors of childhood sexual abuse do not tell as children, or do not tell at the time the abuse is going on. “Children who have been sexually abused may respond with self-blame and self-doubt. They may fear the perpetrator and the possible consequence of disclosure. Hence, in order to survive sexual abuse by a trusted family member, children make accommodating efforts to accept the abuse and to keep the abuse secret” (London & Bruck, 2005). Living in a constant state of terror can also contribute to learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is a conditioning behavior due to prolonged exposure to uncontrollable events causing passivity; making one believe they can no longer control the outcome of similar future events (Seligman, 1975). After repeated abuse, a child will believe that there is no escape from the abuser and will adapt their behavior to believe they are helpless against it. While childhood sexual abuse is now widely talked about in our society, sexual abuse by siblings is still very much a taboo subject. As such, survivors feel a great deal of shame, which perpetuates the need for silence (Pandora’s Project, 2009).

“Young children live in the frightening land of giants [and] depend on the benevolent wisdom, guidance, and restraint of the adults around them” (Craig & Dunn, 2007, p. 234).

The factors of sibling sexual abuse include neglect. If children are neglected, either physically or emotionally, they might engage in a full range of sexual activities. Part of their behavior might come from their need to give and receive comfort when they are not getting any from their parents. This may be how the sexual activity between siblings starts – as experimental and mutual. However, because of power differences between children, it rarely is. If the behavior continues, it can become abusive, especially if one of the children wants to stop and the other does not. Other factors include lack of sex education, inadequate socialization, denial, access to pornography, an older sibling given too much responsibility, children who have witnessed or experienced sexual abuse, and denial (SASIAN, 1994). “Adolescent boys are known to be responsible for as much as 50 percent of child sexual abuse” (Hyde & Forsynth, 1997, p. 26). “Sexual abuse [of any type] is more often inflicted on girls, physical abuse more often on boys” (Craig & Dunn, 2007, p. 235).

For many years, it has been thought that sibling sexual abuse is harmless and does not cause any significant effects on adult functioning, health, or relationships. This line of thinking is what has caused sibling sexual abuse to be traumatizing for the survivors of the abuse. They have been taught that not all family secrets should be let known and told that it was normal childhood behavior. However, these survivors show many of the typical effects of child abuse that include: somatic disturbances, parenthood problems (worrying about their relationship with their children), poor self-concept/self-esteem, re-victimization, self blame, guilt, sexual dysfunction, issues with trust and intimacy, PTSD, eating disorders, self-injury, substance abuse, depression, and sexual promiscuity (Pandora’s Project, 2009). Adult survivors may appear to have everything “together” and be “on top of things.” This can be an outer reflection of a pervasive inner sense of unworthiness or inadequacy. Denial and depression are often connected to various expressions of a “performance syndrome”. The abuse causes one to feel like they are not good enough and must prove their goodness and ability to appear like everyone else. Survivors may show signs of over-responsibility and a feeling of needing to be in control of every outcome. This causes depression from the unhealthy load of unrealistic expectations from one’s self (Heitritter & Vought, 2006).

Resentment does set in toward family members for the survivors of this type of abuse for inadequately protecting them from the abuser. Family get-togethers are often strained for those who have come out against the abuse or those who have not come out. The most healing benefit to those survivors is for this subject to be referenced in literature and media as real and no longer treated as child’s play. Sibling sexual abuse is as real as the words written before you.

Deep Into the Darkness
Crawling deep into the darkness, I found my refuge from the pain,
I was safe under the house while he shouted out my name.
Deeper I would go until my own hand I could not see,
There I would close my eyes and dream of a different me.
When finally it was safe, I would sneak out to the light,
And run to my room until my parents came home at night.
Bolting the big locks on my doors to keep the monster out,
Beating on my door while my name he would shout.

It’s not fair that you left me there without you,
And now you think I make up stories that are not true.
When I was feeling low I’d finally give in to his demand,
And let him touch my naked body with his dirty hands.
What other attention was there for me to seek?
I was just a young girl and… weak.

Everything was evil and oh so wrong back then,
How could I tell you when it was such a sin?

Into the storage barn he would take me along with his friend,
And that is when my innocence would end all over again.
Where were you, I wish I had known-
But you put locks on my doors, so something must have shown.

The stolen gifts he would give me and the secrets he would tell,
Sinking me deeper into his darkness, and further into my shell.
I kept seeking his acceptance although I don’t know why.
And back up his stories with lie after lie.
Even your blinded eye saw the anger in him.
But from where did it actually stem.

Was it the spankings with both our pants pulled down?
Naked in front of each other being beaten, tears spilling to the ground.
Had someone done to him what he was doing to me?
How will I ever know the truth and be set free?

Did you ever take the time to tell me you were proud?
Of whom I was becoming or was I just a face in the crowd?
Did you tell me daily that you loved me?
And to dream that there was no limit to what I could be?
No, I was to be seen and not heard.
So my lips never escaped one word.

I resent the way you raised me and blindly think you did so well,
The heritage you gave me has caused my life such hell.
By believing that abuse is what I deserve and none should I tell.
Too bad for you because your secrets are out,
Maybe you don’t believe, but with them you hold no clout.
You wonder why I do not come to see you,
Why would I?

Stay behind your cloud of pride,
I know you cannot take a side.
Be there for him and his girl,
She will need you in her world.
There’ll be a day when darkness falls on her,
But this time, remember my words.
He has an evil deep within,
Who knows when with her it will begin.

You cannot save me and nor do I wish you too.
I have a loneliness that is new.
But I like it here without you.

(Medlock, 2006)

References

Caffaro, J.V. & Conn-Caffaro, A. (1998). Sibling abuse trauma. Assessment & Intervention with Children, Families, and Adults. Binghamton, NY: Haworth Press.

Craig, G. J., & Dunn, W. L. (2007). Early Childhood: Personality and Sociocultural Development. In Understanding Human Development     (pp.234-235). New Jersey: Pearson.

Heitritter, & Vought. (2006). Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse. Minnesota: Bethany House.

Hyde, & Forsynth. (1997). The Sexual Abuse of Children and Adolescents. Connecticut: Millbrook Press.



London, K., & Bruck, M. (2005). Disclosure Of Child Sexual Abuse. American Psychological Association, 11(1), 194-226. Retrieved from

Medlock, S. A. (2006, June 28). Deep Into The Darkness [Web log post]   Retrieved from No Longer Seen And Not Heard:    http://theheardpoet.blogspot.com/2006/06/sibling-incest.html

Seligman, M.E.P. (1975). Generality of learned helplessness in man. Journal                of Personality and Social Psychology, 31, 311-327.

Shaw, R. (2000). Not Child's Play: An anthology on brother-sister incest.
Maryland: Lunchbox Press.

APA [American Psychological Association]. (2010). Retrieved from

Pandora's Project [Support and resources for survivors of rape and sexual abuse]. (2009). Retrieved from                                     http://www.pandys.org/articles/siblingsexualabuse.html

SASIAN [Sibling Sexual Abuse - A Parents Guide]. (1994). Retrieved from http://www.sasian.org/


Sunday, October 24

Hot Springs Spa & The Iron Horse Station


Hot Springs, North Carolina is one of the most beautiful, relaxing, and non-commercialized places to spend a weekend. There's barely a stop sign and then you've passed it completely. But if you slow down and take it all in... you're sure to return.



We stayed at the Iron Horse Station, which is about the only bar, restaurant and hotel in town. One of the best items on the menu is fried green tomatoes served with a spicy honey mustard. The hotel is nice but it is also VERY close to the train tracks. Very very close.




Just don't leave your window open all night like we did :)



See the train tracks in the background? Yeah, very loud at 3am. But the furnishings at this hotel are nice.


There's no television in your room, but they do offer reading materials. And this isn't a place to come to and watch television anyway.


There is a queen size bed with a fluffy down comforter.


Large bathroom...


with a big shower... shampoo and body wash provided.


Robes available to use.


Homey decor.


This hallway leads to the top floor of the restaurant that is provided for hotel guests only. There are several tables, a big screen, couch, and a dart board available for use. And you can sit up here and order your food, watch the game and listen to live blue grass away from the rest of the crowd.


Believe it or not - You can get wireless internet but you share a phone with everyone else in the hotel :)

But when you are in a town like this, in the middle of nowhere, who really cares about technology? Just take a short walk and you'll find a hot spring spa across the road.

There is nothing snooty about this resort and spa. They offer campsites as a part of their accommodations and you walk into the woods with campfires to meet your spa destination. The road there is gravel. 


Kids and dogs are welcome.


There are remnants of the old bathhouse left still standing after two fires had destroyed them.





The view from the baths (hot tubs) along the river is wonderful.






For a complete history of The Hot Springs Spa... click here.

For a list of services with pricing... click here.

Our favorite place to stay near Hot Springs is the Briar Rose Farm.

Take a break from the real world and have a relaxing vacation without television, traffic, commercialism and everything else that makes life hectic and enjoy Hot Springs, NC.


Make-up is optional.



Even the cider is spiked.







I promise that time slows down, everything you see is beautiful, and you'll come home relaxed.

~Dreamer~


Hot Springs of North CarolinaBackroads of North Carolina: Your Guide to Great Day Trips & Weekend Getaways (Backroads of ...)North Carolina Off the Beaten Path, 9th: A Guide to Unique Places (Off the Beaten Path Series)