Instant Message

Tousled brown hair – a young man but with one look into Evan’s brown eyes you can see the depth of someone twice his age because when he looks at you – he really sees you and takes the time to really know you. There you are naked in his gaze yet comfortable that someone finally recognizes who you are. Confident yet nervous creating each emotion to contradict the other almost as if left dangling like a worm on a hook to be devoured by his oblivious charm. His genuine concern for others blends even into the most casual relationships he holds. Sometimes one might wonder if the attendant at a gas station even feels the warmth of his presence or gets giddy at the thought that her day may include the chance to brush a hand against his while taking the money from his hand. His crooked smile barely hides behind a dusting of beard and with gentle words spoken through soft lips he leaves you craving for another moment of him.

At the end of what would be a long day to some is only another beginning for Sara as she boots up her computer and settles in for what will be the night’s creative writing assignments. The one class that gives her some release from the pressure continually put on her to become this person with a purpose in life. Pressure that she creates for herself and a purpose she hopes will somehow benefit others and help them in some way or touch them because she’s made a difference. After thirty-two years, she’s dabbled in a mixture of the corporate career and finally settled into the realization that she knows what she wants to be when she grows up – a nurse. Not an easy task for a right brainer, but there is nothing to stop her from tackling what others think should be impossible. Starring at an empty page and blinking cursor, a window pops itself open from the bottom of her screen.

“Hey, I was afraid that I had scared you away,” he had typed onto her screen.

“What do you think was so terrible that you would make me run off?” Sara replied.

“I thought I might have offended you when I told you I wanted to kiss you,” he confessed again.

Evan must have sensed that Sara was now blushing with the words filling her once empty screen. Those same words she had read the night before that left her craving him in her dreams. After a hard swallow, she lingered thinking of her reply. Instead more words moved their way across the screen – he knew her hesitance only meant she was sinking into him.

“Let me see you tomorrow,” he simply responded to her reluctance.

“I have a full day and I’m covering for someone at work tomorrow so I don’t know if I’ll be able to break away,” was her guarded response.

“I think you want to be adventurous, but you hold yourself back – afraid of regrets,” he cornered her with his words.

“And you don’t ever regret anything you’ve done?” Sara replied.

“Who has time for regret? Everything we do helps us later,” he said.

“Helps us to not do things we will regret,” she finished for Evan.

“But enjoying someone we find chemistry with is not a bad thing. It's ok to relax and enjoy from time to time. I mean I haven't thought about this seriously in over a year and that’s how long it’s been since I’ve felt this way. So I’m rusty and nervous but curious and excited to see what might happen. I guess you can say I’m straight forward with what I want,” Evan laid everything in the open.

“I like straight forward, but dance around actually being it,” she admitted.

Evan said, “And you’re afraid to actually say what you want or do what you want.”

“Okay, you can crawl out of my head now!” Sara exclaimed.

“No way, this is good. Instead of going for what you really want or need,” he began again.

Sara interrupts with, “I settle for what others need from me.”

“Just telling you what I think and feel,” he ended the conversation and slipped off her screen.

Evan slipped away but his presence remained through the words typed across her screen. She lingered over them like a fine meal to discover she was the course he devoured with words not even spoken.