There's Hair There?

Caution to Men: Do not read this. It’s highly embarrassing. If you really think you want to keep reading then believe me when I say that it’s all fictional and toe-tally just a creative writing assignment.


Why do I have chin and toe hair? It’s not a fair thing in a woman’s life to have hair growing in places not kosher for them to grow!

I guess it all started in my late twenties with the toe hair. I didn’t even know it was there until one day someone found it for me when my legs were propped up in front of them baring my naked hairy feet. Who thinks to look there when they are shaving? I guess if I was more feminine I might have noticed it while painting my toe nails, which I promise I do paint. But I probably had other things on my mind at the time. So anyway, I started immediately from that second on shaving my little ‘piggies’ along with the leg shaving and freakish eyebrow shaping.

One day in my early thirties I was sitting at my desk at work in the thinking position with my hand propping my chin when I felt it! A long wire-like hair protruding it’s bad self from my chin! I immediately grabbed it and yanked the obnoxious thing from its hiding place. Being so fascinated with my new discovery, I laid it out before me on a stark white sheet of paper to analyze. There was a root! I then picked up the page holding the hair and brought it to my girlfriend at work and asked her what it was and why was it growing on my face. My accusatory tone brought fear to her face; either that or she thought I had lost my mind at the moment which I don’t doubt. She looked at me, then at the paper, then at my chin. From that day forward, there has not been a day go by that I don’t cautiously check my chin out in the mirror and make sure I rid myself of any hairs.

Getting older and all of the hormonal changes that geezer-hood is bringing me, makes me wonder where the next hair will rear itself on my body. I recently entered myself in a contest for $3,000.00 worth of hair removal wondering exactly how much money it would take to conquer my entire body excluding my head, little bit of eyebrow and maybe eyelashes. I haven’t gotten that notification email that I’ve won… yet.