Hope

I am not an inspiration. I find simple pleasures in life and I try to love with all my heart. I have hurt those close to me, strangers, and my cat. And I really doubt I'm the inspiring type. You have come across the inspiring. They are genuine. They truly believe what they believe and it is like enjoying a beautiful sunset or painting when they share their heart with you.

I grew up in a home where religion was something to follow blindly because that is the truth and you should never question the truth. At least my parents did not like for any of us to question it and all the while, they would flip flop from church to church and denomination to denomination quite likely that THEY QUESTIONED IT. Once I asked my father when I was a grown woman, "Don't you ever feel the love of Jesus in your heart for others who are struggling and love them exactly where they are?" I mean this was the Son of God that he worshiped. I surely thought he understood His love. He replied, "We don't get to do whatever we want and expect Him to love us." So I eventually gave up trying to get this man's acceptance along with his god's acceptance (which I do not think has anything to do with Jesus) since there was no humanly way to live up to it.

Then came Hope. A woman who embodies love and gives it freely to those that seek it and those who think she is just a bit strange. She is not strange... she is a just a genuine person. There are not a lot of genuine people out there in the world so I guess that is why they stick out as strange. She is caring, accepting, loving, and real. She believes that her first ministry is her family and she cherishes each of them. Wow. I wanted her to adopt me immediately when she said that. Sitting across the counter from me at work, she endeavored to teach me how to pray for forgiveness. - Forgiveness that I needed to have in my own heart. She even did hand gestures so that I would remember a scripture Romans 5:5. Look it stuck... I remembered. Women like Hope are absolute treasures to humanity. I haven't prayed that prayer because I'm not ready to do that kind of forgiving.... yet. But it's nice after all the brow-beating to have someone like her pop in and challenge me that not all religious people are fake, unloving, bias people who look to find what's wrong with others instead of looking at their own heart. THAT... is a giant leap for me.

So for now, love is my religion. My family is my ministry. I will not stop questioning and seek truth. I will enjoy who I am and stop scolding the little girl locked inside. I will do my best to learn from others and keep my mind open and heart available. I will live each day as if it could be my last. Moreover, I will seek forgiveness because to really love you have to know how to forgive. Thank you Hope.