Intimidation or Attraction?

There was something about the way he looked at me with eyes burning deep into mine. Slowly, I walked into his office and sat down in the chair across from him; constantly locked in his gaze like a ship anchored at shore. Casual conversation filled the small glass walls of his domain, while I sat there with my mind wandering about distant details and scattered thoughts; thoughts of how pointless these words seemed to be coming out of my mouth, while trying to make good use of conversation skills I could drum up, and sweat beading up in undesirable places.

Somehow he felt familiar to me, and at the same time so mysterious. My body went through the warp zone of belly flops, and the intense heat of attraction. He kept himself concreted behind a desk that created a safe distance; enough distance that I could easily get up and walk out - or even run if my head and heart could not take his existence. Walking out is exactly what I ended up doing, for I could not dance any longer to this tune of intensity. I kept walking, only concentrating on each step; while my eyes wanted to burn a hole through the back of my head to see if he was watching. Before I knew it, I had lost track of my destination. The crisp winter breeze in my face as I pushed out the final door brought me to my senses, and quickly carried me to the car.

Sitting there starting the engine, I felt the cocoon of thought envelope me again, drifting me down the road - reliving every word said. I was so lost in thought that I could not remember how I made it home. My phone started ringing beside me like an alarm to my senses as I pulled into the garage. That is when I awoke and realized my surroundings.

Sliding the car into park, I then began searching for this chirping annoyance vibrating beside me. I reached for the phone and turned it to see the name calling. Another flop in my abdomen announced to my body what my eyes clearly could see. He was calling. What are the rules and the steps one must take in these situations? Do you answer knowingly? Let it ring and go to voice mail? Or do you give in and lay it all on the line by answering? Flipping the phone open, I eagerly answered. At least I had removed myself from his gaze and his voice was all I had to contend with in this moment.

"I just have to be the first to say, you are so beautiful," he said to me.

It was like my ears were hearing this, but no sound would come out of my mouth. Compliments have never come easily for me, because I immediately drown them with some flaw trapped deeply in my head.

"You have beautiful blue eyes," he said again without hearing any reply.

I was thinking about my eyes, and how incredibly red instead of blue they must have been - since sleep is not always a part of my daily ritual.

"Thank you," I said meekly, finally willing myself to return in gesture.

"I think you are very handsome too," I willed out of my mouth.

Calling a man handsome can probably mean so many things. It is like a safe way of either saying you are really homely or incredibly delicious. Clinging to safety was exactly what I was doing because delicious is not a good word to use in the beginning. He might think I seriously want to eat him alive like a delicious snack, and that could be both bad and good. If he is at all modest, the man would go running from a tramp using such language. A womanizer would love such a comment to be made about them, and I would have fallen into his trap. I said he was handsome, which was a safe detachment that kept my composure intact.

"I would love to see you again," he said.

He wants to see me again? Was I not foolish enough for him the first time? He must be sadistic in nature to expose him yet again to my double-sided comments.

"Okay, when?" I replied.